Use Questions Strategically to Drive Listening and Build Relationships

You’ve heard me say it over and over – be strategic in your communications DAILY. That even means when listening. Strategic listening comes in many forms, and one of those forms is (counterintuitively) by talking – specifically, by asking questions. It’s a kind of consultative mode when you use questions strategically to drive listening and build relationships.

Asking questions sets one up to be connective to your audience – of one or of 1,000. Not only does it provide an opportunity to gain common ground, it helps demonstrate engagement and interest. It is an invitation for the other participant(s) to introduce, expand upon, defend or clarify their content. It provides the questioner the opportunity to listen for key themes, emotional tone, and detail critical to decision making.

Primary – These are the macro questions that can kick off the dialogue, set some direction, ease into more difficult terrain.

- “What perspective do you have?”

- “What is the business goal?”

- “What’s this quarter’s major challenge?”

Follow-up – Don’t be afraid to dig deeper, learn more, and drill down for greater understanding. It may lead to new solutions or partnerships or counsel.

- “What other factors bring you to that conclusion?”

- “What if this variable changes?”

- “Have you taken X or Y into account?”

- “What criteria was used for this?”

Clarifying – These questions help affirm alignment and understanding. Side note: these are great questions for junior voices in the room to use to demonstrate engagement.

- “Is this what you mean?”

- “Can you define that term?”

- “Would you please confirm the timeline?”

- “Did I hear you say…?”

Reflecting – Here is your opportunity, when speaking, to invite your audience to engage with his/her/their perspective or experience. This is an outstanding tool in networking/relationship building situations.

- “How have you handled that issue?”

- “Is that a problem you’ve faced?”

- “Have you ever been there?”

- “Is that something you also enjoy?”

So go out there and be curious. Use these questions strategically to improve your listening and build better relationships every day.