Strong Eye Contact: No. 2 in Life, no. 1 in Business
Make positive psychological and physiological impact - whether in the room or remote
By Steve Johnson
The most powerful way humans connect with each other is through touch. This isn’t new. The short list of studies confirming this – from Harry Harlow’s study of rhesus monkeys in the 1930s to today – is long. From birth, touch communicates empathy, care, anger, disappointment, excitement. It can be casually social, and it can be the most intimate thing we experience.
But it doesn’t play well at work. Co-workers don’t ask for it. HR hates it. COVID has removed it.
So, we must leverage the second-most powerful tool we have to connect: eye contact. We all are aware that good eye contact signals confidence, competence and credibility. We are not all aware of the physiological changes eye contact makes. And, as important as it is when face-to-face, it becomes amplified in the indirect world of remote meetings. To be more effective, maintain strong eye contact, and that means speaking into a camera.
We are at our most effective in communications when visual, vocal and verbal tools are all in play at the same time. The visual tools and cues we have at our disposal are critical. This is why video conferencing gained traction at the turn of the century - well before this pandemic was a glint in a bat’s eye.
Too often, people spend their time talking to faces on the screen. That creates a disconnect when communicating. To make the most powerful connection, talk into the camera. Apple knows this. In 2019, it introduced "fake" eye contact via Apple’s FaceTime app – iOS 13’s FaceTime Attention Correction fixed the position of the user’s pupils digitally.
Science backs this up, as well. When you look into the eyes of your audience, you’re forcing a physiological change for improved common ground, empathy and awareness. A 2019 study in the Society for Neuroscience journal eNeuro shows how eye contact prepares the social brain to empathize by activating the same areas of each person’s brain simultaneously. “Eye contact is a key element that connects humans during social communication,” the researchers state in the takeaway.
In 2003, a study published in the Journal_of_Neuroscience demonstrated changes in skin conductance response (SCR) when participants “are exposed to direct over averted gaze with a live (participant)." Direct eye contact from an “in the moment” human activates oxytocin and creates instant bonds.
This was underscored by a pair of studies out of the University of Tampere in Finland. In 2016, researchers measured changes in skin conductance response (SCR), heart rate and brain waves while participants viewed another live person.
“The visibility of the model was manipulated such that participants could: (1) clearly see the model and the model could see them, (2) believed the model could see them but they could not see the model, and (3) could not see each other. The key condition being the ‘belief’ that someone could see them.”
The results showed a significant increase in SCR and heart rate deceleration when participants “believed” the model could see them. An awareness of being looked at plays a big role.
Then, in a study published last April, the researchers came up with similar findings in an indirect environment. They found autonomic nervous system activity during video calls to be like responses when measuring in-person eye contact. Again, “response to eye contact requires the perception of being seen by another.” While the physical results aren’t the same if the receiver’s camera is turned off, the other benefits of confidence, competence and credibility still stand.
So how much eye contact do you need to be effective? Article after article, from Inc. to Forbes to Entrepreneur, talk about 30 percent-to-60 percent or a 50/70 (when talking/when listening) rule or even the percentage of time needed looking away -- to eliminate “staring” or to help the speaker find the right words (originally published in Cognition). These numbers are a bit scattered.
When in a virtual environment, breaking with the camera is necessary to “read the room.” When in person, you’re connecting and reading at the same time. When remote, you’re connecting through the lens and must break to read the screen. Factor that in.
Ultimately, what you need to know is to not shy away from good, consistent eye contact. “Lengthen and strengthen” is a good rule of counsel. Check your notes, sure. Disconnect to find the right words – it’s natural. Reading the room is a must.
But spend the great majority of your time using your strongest connection tool – strong eye contact. Even if that connection point is a camera lens.